Blackies

Every college student's dream is to come home to a warm plate of brownies, right? (Actually, my roommate hates brownies, so I should probably specify that brownies are every NORMAL college student's dream.) Well, we all know that brownies aren't magically going to appear, so one must go about making them for themselves. Fortunately, my roommate Jeffro and I and our friend Heidi had the brilliant idea of making them for ourselves.

We pulled out the ultimate fudge brownie mix, poured in the 1/4 cup of oil, 1/2 cup of water, two eggs, and began stirring. Then we (Jeffro) stirred until all the powder was mixed up, plopped it into a pan, and placed it in the preheated oven, setting the timer for 45 minutes. After the goodies were securely in the oven, we began to clean up the kitchen. As we were cleaning, it began to smell funny in the kitchen, almost like something was burning. But that was impossible, for the brownies had only been in for five minutes. Suddenly, Jeffro noticed that smoke was pouring out of our oven. We threw open the door and were bombarded by smoke. After it cleared, we peered in to see the blackest brownies ever.

Jeffro went into panic mode, realizing that all our hard work was being wasted, and reached in to the oven to grab the pan. Fortunately, before she grabbed the pan, she realized that she didn't have any protection. I calmly handed her some as she jumped from one foot to the other, and she took the blackened brownies out. She took them outside (clearly the most logical place to take dysfunctional brownies) and we began to inspect our creation. While at first look it had seemed that we had a super oven that cooked brownies within two minutes, as we peered closer we realized that only the top of the brownies were black, and the rest of it was, well, goo.

After making this startling realization, I ran back inside to see why the oven had produced such strange results. I opened the oven door and saw that one of the heating coils was hanging down into the oven. I turned to Jeffro to ask her if she'd seen that when she was putting the brownies in. "Uh . . . Yeah? I didn't think it was a big deal." was her response. What? Not a big deal? Uh, fire hazards aren't big deals anymore? Ruining brownies isn't a big deal? Cool bud.

And yes, we still ate the goo that some people call brownie batter.