Case #1
I'd just turned 16. As I was wont to do on a nice day at that age, I'd gone on a bike ride. I rode up to the reservoir, where I was sitting on a rock by the water, contemplating whatever a regular sixteen-year-old contemplates at that age.
Suddenly, a random stranger is walking up to me from across the reservoir. It's quite obvious his purpose is to talk to me, but I try to ignore it for as long as possible. Finally, he gets within normal speaking range, and he begins to ask me questions. Why? I had no idea; I'd done nothing to solicit this behavior! We get through all the basic, "How old are you?" and "Where are you from?" questions, (and when I say "we," I mean he'd asked me all of those questions, to which I gave fragmented responses) when he finally asked me, "So do you think you'd want to hang out sometime?"
Um. What? Really? Is my body language not blatantly saying, no, screaming, "GET AWAY AND LEAVE ME BE"? Have I said or done anything that would make you think I would want to hang out? Have I even looked you in the eye for more than three seconds during this painful five-minute, mostly one-sided conversation?
Well, since those clues obviously weren't enough, I was forced to reply with a polite, "Um... Not really."
Sorry sir for hurting your ego. Perhaps you will pick your battles more wisely next time. And maybe wear an actual shirt, not just a wife beater.
Case #2
It's my first year at college. Being the starving college student that I am, I take on the first job that I can. Unfortunately, it's a cleaning job. Even more unfortunately, it's from 9:30-1:30... In the morning. In taking the job, I had to promise my bosses that I'd travel to and from work with pepper spray in my pocket (I didn't). Unfortunately, they didn't warn me about creepers IN the building.
I was cleaning the big glass doors one night when I see a man's face through the glass. After getting over my initial shock, I open the door to the poor man who, "Just needed to go to the bathroom." I let him in, receiving a promise from him that he'd be out in just a few minutes.
Well, true to his word, he comes walking back down the hall a few minutes later. That, naturally, was when he decided it would be a good time to engage me in a long, drawn out conversation. Now that might seem like normal social interaction, and in fact, it would have been.
If I didn't see him everywhere.
And by everywhere, I mean he follows me sometimes.
He figured out where and when I take my breaks, and sometimes he'll come there and try and catch my eye and "hopefully" strike up a conversation.
He (obviously) knows where I work, so sometimes he comes and walks through the halls and stares at me, sometimes being brave enough to speak a few words.
He even started studying where I study. (Changed that one quickly!)
It's been over a year since our first interaction. And he still crops up at random times in my life. He's a really nice guy... I'm just not exactly into the stalker type.
Case #3
I'm now in my second year at college, and obviously have progressed into the much cooler stage of "sophomore." No longer a freshman, I, naturally, strut around campus, feeling like I own the place.
On one such occasion, as I was strutting around, listening to my music, I walked past a group of *obvious* freshmen. Ignoring them, I walked on. Suddenly, I heard a somewhat muffled (because of my headphones) clattering from behind me; almost like someone had dropped a phone. Well, since my phone was in my backpack, it couldn't have been me, so I continued on. Until I felt a tap on my shoulder.
One of the freshmen that I'd just passed by was talking to me, and gesturing to a phone in his hand. I took my headphones out, and listened to him as he asked if I'd dropped my phone.
Me: "Uh... Nope. That's not mine."
Him: "Oh, are you sure?"
"Yeah... I think I'd know my phone."
"Oh. Well..." *Presses buttons* "It's broken anyway."
"It is?"
"Yeah... See, it doesn't have your number in it." *Hands me phone*
Oho boy. This one was a winner. With a line like that, how could I not give him my number? I punched it in, then walked home, chuckling to myself.
And yes, he has texted me.
And called me.
A few too many times.
Case #4
Tonight, as I worked at my janitorial job, (maybe it's the job that attracts the creepers?) I was suddenly approached by a creepy-looking young man.
He stopped me and said, "Hey. What's your name?"
To which I replied, "London. What's yours?"
"Pedro. Look, I got this tonight." *Hands me a fortune*
I look at the fortune, which reads, "Pay attention to the color purple. It will bring you luck throughout the week." I look down at my shirt, and, sure enough, I'm wearing purple.
Shoot.
"Ha ha (nervous chuckle) what a coincidence!" *Hands fortune back to Pedro*
"I was just standing over there talking to my friend about this fortune, wondering what it could mean. He told me that maybe it meant I was going to meet a girl..." (Let me interject by telling you that, at this point I'm wondering, what the color purple has to do with meeting a girl) "...And then you walked by wearing that shirt!"
Um. Ok. What? That's sound logic. He rambled on for a few more minutes before saying, "Let me get a look at you!"
He steps back and looks me over, head-to-toe, for a good 15 seconds. I stood there wondering if I should twirl, do a dance, or simply run away. After he'd thoroughly inspected me, he said, "I like your hair. Well, at least, the color."
Thank you for saying that my hair looks like crap, Pedro.
"Well..." I say, "I better get back to work."
"Oh yes. Go. It was great to talk to you. I'm sure I will talk to you again sometime. Your name was... Purple?"
"Uhhhh... London."
"Ok well I just remember nicknames better. So I'm just going to call you Purple."
Uh, sure, whatever. You can call me Purple. It's kinda like London. I guess.
